WOW, it's been over a month since my last post. I know it's been crazy around my house but until just now I didn't realize how the time has just flown by!!
I don't know about the rest of you out there but here in New England we have had one heck of a winter already and I heard this morning we have 52 days of winter to go!! My children have not had a full week of school since prior to Christmas vacation and at this rate I have not had a full week in the office since then either.
I have realized something about myself this year as I've been home more often than usual, I need my work. I not only need my work it what gives me peace of mind and enables me to feel valued as an individual, not just a mom, wife, daughter, sister etc. but as ME. I love my children, I love my family and I love the support I am able to provide them each and everyday. What I do know is that when I am not going into the office I am a horrible person to be around.
Just this morning I snapped, I am, once again, working from home due to another snow storm that has come through our lovely region. And once again, all three of my children are home with me. In fairness, today is not a normal "work at home" day. Today is the end of a 3 week battle of snow, illness (me, kids and our dog) as well as the day that my husband (my support system) leaves for 10 DAYS for the first time ever. So, I SNAPPED.. I said hurtful things to my children and even filled a trash bag with toys. I regret this. Mostly I also regret trying to be someone I'm not. I should have gone to work today and brought my youngest to daycare and had my 17 year old watch Austin. Instead, I am trying to do it all. I guess it's time I recognize what makes me tick and what gives me peace of mind to balance each and everyday.
I wonder how many of you out there have these moments? What do you do to ensure you have peace and balance in your hectic lives? I do think there is some sadness to the fact that my peace of mind comes from working and feel I should look at finding other more socially acceptable healthy ways to give myself balance (WOW.. if that wasn't therapy talk I don't know what is).
I should be celebrating this time I have with my children.. my son is now on a 504 plan with school, my daughter is graduating from H.S. this year and is on her way to becoming a fabulous teacher in the future and my little one has recently started getting himself dress everyday. Each of my children is a gift in my life. Maybe someday I can learn to take a moment and accept that I am not just who I am at my job. I am a successful mom with a fabulously challenging and enlightening family, I am a caring and giving individual with a lot to offer those around me and I am not defined by who I am in my career.
Today I am going to commit to taking 2011 to figure out myself and what I need in life. I truly feel that this will, in the end, benefit not just me but my family as a whole. What are you going to focus on this year?